Change Your Body With Magic!
THERE IS A DEEP, LONG HELD BELIEF IN MOST (ALL?) OF US THAT WE AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH AS WE ARE. IS IT HUMAN TO CONSTANTLY YEARN TO CHANGE OURSELVES, OR IS IT INSIDIOUS CULTURAL PROGRAMMING?
I wish to have bigger butt, boobs, hips, and thighs and to just weigh a little more.
I get questions like this almost daily and they mostly just make me sad. So many people wish to change their appearance, are unsatisfied with themselves on some level. Their desperation makes them reach out to a witch they don’t know, hoping for some miraculous cure to their “problem.” It breaks my heart to say that I can’t help them, but I always respond with the truth.
The truth, as I see it, is that there is no magical solution. Sure, I’m the first one to say that anything is possible, and there is a slim chance that someone out there has this kind of power, but I’m skeptical. The amount of time, energy, sacrifice that would be required to attain such mastery of magic seems unattainable. If you did eventually learn to manipulate reality on that level, would you use your magic to give someone bigger boobs? Doubtful.
The truth is, in general, that, yes, magic is real, but no, magic is not what you seem to think it is. We aren’t living at Hogwarts, we don’t wave our wands and utter nonsense words and change physical reality instantly. Magic is fascinating and astonishing, but it is also slow and subtle and requires powerful faith and intention. In magic we work with forces of the universe to influence reality towards our desired outcome. The energy it requires is often a heavier toll than doing the mundane work to achieve the same results. I’ll use this question as an example. You could reach out to every single witch on the internet and spend all your money on charlatans and their false promises, or you could get expensive and invasive surgery to alter your body. You could take up magical studies yourself and dedicate your life to learning how to change physical forms, spending years in practice and spell work to possibly (but not probably) achieve your desired results, or you could change your lifestyle, diet and exercise habits, which is itself all consuming. Which of these seems like it would take more? More money, more time, more energy?
I’m more interested in the why. Why do you feel the need to change your appearance at all? Why are you trying to conform to patriarchal beauty standards? Why have you succumbed, as so many of us do, to the cultural pressure to look a certain way in order to be attractive? Why do we become victims of oppressive subconscious programming? Why don't we care more about how we feel and less about how we look?
Wouldn’t you rather be a revolutionary? Give a loud “FUCK YOU” to the dominant, white supremacist, ableist, misogynist, cis-hetero patriarchy and, instead of conforming, resist? Choose radical self-love and acceptance, embracing your body for the miracle it is, instead of everything it isn’t. I’m not saying this is going to be easy. This shit has been passed down for generations, and the wound is deep and real. We have the choice though, to continue the violence or to fight back against it, to allow that we deserve better, just as we are. For every person asking me for a spell for bigger butt there’s another asking for help to be skinnier. The irony is that we always want what we don’t have, and, as long as we let others define beauty for us, we’ll never, ever, be satisfied. But we’ll do anything to try fill the void, and that’s exactly where capitalism wants us.
So, I do have a magical solution for you, after all. Practice kindness. Gaze at yourself in the mirror, everyday, finding at least one thing you like about yourself and focusing all of your loving attention on it. Touch your body with adoration. Marvel at your breath as it inhales life sustaining air and exhales stagnation. Speak words of worship into your water and drink deeply of your own divinity. Give yourself the gifts of delicious food, soft clothing, rest. Move your body in ways that feel inspiring. Treat yourself like someone you care about, noticing all that you appreciate about your beloved.
This is lifelong work, but it is worth it. Some days will be much harder than others. Some days you’ll feel so in love with yourself you’ll wonder how you ever doubted it. Most of the time you’ll be somewhere in between, practicing self love despite the constant onslaught of messaging and images that tell you to look different, to be different. Remember, you are not alone. All of us are somewhere along the spectrum of self acceptance. Even that model you admire wishes she could change something about herself. As for me, if I could change anything, it would be the reprehensible cultural norms that got us here in the first place. Fight the power, become empowered, and love yourself fully, if only to vex the patriarchy.