ASK A WITCH-Dreamy

Intuitive dreaming, lasting connections between old lovers, or both?

So one night I had a dream about an old flame of mine who I haven't seen or talked to in a while, and the next day I kept seeing his name everywhere. I got this strong urge that I needed to talk about him, so I called his sister. I told her about everything and she told me that it was actually his birthday, which I knew nothing about. A friend of my mine jokingly said that we're probably connected somehow, while another said something about intuitive dreaming. So, what do you think?

I think both are quite possible. Let’s examine the options one at a time.

We can certainly become connected to those we’ve shared love with, no matter the extent or length of the relationship. Many people and traditions believe that when we have sex with someone there is an exchange of energy and cords between us can develop. Unless consciously cleared, these cords can remain intact for years, creating a conduit for our energy to continue to travel back and forth. While this isn’t necessarily negative, depending on the energy of the people involved, it is an issue of boundaries. Imagine if you had multiple cords stretching between you and everyone you’ve ever slept with- how can you hold onto to your own vitality if it’s constantly moving away from you? How can you know if the thoughts and feelings you’re having are your own if energy is always coming your way from outside sources? Even though it can be exciting to remain connected to those we’ve shared intimacy with, it can end up being an energy drain at best, and more often a toxic and dangerous exposure.

Luckily, there are many easy ways to clear your energy field, a good practice for everyone, whether or not you are actively severing cords. Simply going outside, to put your feet on the earth or breathe in the ocean air or bask in the sunlight/moonlight can work wonders. Drink plenty of water and eat nourishing food. Build altars in your home. Go for walks. Get plenty of sleep. Engage in creative acts. Express gratitude. Sing! Laugh. Breathe deeply. Meditate. Do yoga. Bring your intentions in clearly- you are actively clearing your energy body to release old connections and cords. I offer more specific advice in my previous column “Disconnect” if you find that a connection is especially stubborn and you need extra help cutting it.

It is important to recognize that protecting ourselves in this way doesn’t mean negating the love we’ve shared, and it doesn’t mean that we can’t reconnect with any of these people. It simply means that we aren’t unknowingly giving and receiving energy, which is healthy.

Intuitive dreaming is something we are all innately able to do, though some of us spend more time cultivating and using this skill. There are many ways to interpret dreams- as messages from our sub conscious, as nighttime wanderings on the astral plane, as prophetic visions of the future… depending on where your beliefs lie, the meaning can be deeply significant or easily dismissed. On the less spiritual side, we can simply see our dreams as symbolic of our emotions and what is happening in our lives. In this situation, it is up to us to interpret our own meaning from the signs we are shown. First determine the emotional energy of the dream- joyful, scary, exciting, frustrating, anxious, delightful, etc. How did it make you feel? Now, isolate certain aspects of the dream (the old flame, for instance) and ask yourself what is the first word that comes to mind when you think of this person? You may need to continue down this road until you find the word or words that resonate the most deeply, and repeat with other significant people, places, or things that showed up in the dream. Use your intuition to interpret the message your dreaming self is sending.

As an open-minded witch, it isn’t a stretch for me to believe in dreams as prophecy or astral travel. In fact, my own dreaming often takes me places and shows me things that later show up in my life. I don’t pretend to completely understand the complexity of the dreamworld, but I’ve experienced enough to know that there is plenty of magic there. If you’d like to deepen your dreaming practice, start keeping a dream journal. Write down your dreams every morning when you wake, and when something sparks in you, take it further by attempting to interpret the message from the dream. The more you engage with your dreams, the more rich and prodigious your dream life will become.

My instincts tell me that your dream was a mix of both of these scenarios. Because of your continued connection with your old flame, your dreams spoke to you at a significant time (his birthday). The message and meaning therein is important for two reasons: 1) it is time to intentionally clear this person from your energy field, for your sake and his, and 2) your dreams are beckoning you to deepen your intuition by exploring them further.