Love Spells
I'm sick of being single, but I've been dating forever and nothing is clicking. I'm underwhelmed by the people I'm meeting and tired of boring, pointless interactions. I'm ready to give up. Any suggestions? -Love Potion?
Dear Potion,
People come into our lives when we're ready for them, so my first suggestion is to take an honest look at yourself and determine if you really are ready. Are you nurturing your own growth, path and passions? If you're spending too much time dating and not enough time pursuing your happiness and purpose, that special someone might look right past you.
My next suggestion is to pick a meaningful night (a new moon is perfect for sowing seeds, a waxing moon for nurturing growth, and a full moon is a powerhouse-choose what resonates for you) and spend some intentional time on a love spell. Open sacred space, whatever that means for you (I call in directions, elements, and guides), light a fire or some candles, surround yourself with flowers or crystals, burn some incense, sip some tea; find a way to elevate your night into something magical. Sit down with a blank piece of paper and write a thoughtful list about the person you would love to draw into your life. Don't be afraid to ask for what you want- great sense of humor, kindness, beauty, intelligence- but be wary of specifics ("upright bass player" vs "musical," "novelist" vs "creative," etc), unless those specifics are truly important to you (if you absolutely need your beloved to be obsessed with Harry Potter, go ahead and write it down). Take time and care with this list- use exact and positive language (i.e. "compassionate" vs "not an asshole") and make sure to say precisely what you want ("single" is good, if you want someone who's unattached, but "emotionally available" means they're also ready for you). When your list feels complete, read it over several times, and notice which of the qualities you're seeking are qualities that you already have yourself, and which are qualities that you wish you had. If you find yourself lacking, try to think of ways to nurture those aspects in yourself. Like attracts like.
Finish your magical night with a bit of ceremony. Offer something to the fire in gratitude for the love that is heading your way, honor the sacred forces you called in to help with a drop of essential oil in a candle, sing a song or walk outside under the moon to pour your tea on the earth or kiss the ground. Imagine that your spell is a beacon you are sending out for your person to find you. Shine bright! It isn't what you do, it's the act of honoring and gratitude that are key here; use my suggestions or create your own. Close sacred space and place your list somewhere special. Revisit your love list every week or so and offer another little ceremony each time you do; in time, your love will find you.
Finally, you have to meet your spell halfway with honest effort. Join a dating app, try a new social activity, ask your friends to set you up, etc. You’ll have to put yourself out there!
