The age old questions-what are dreams and why do we have them? What do they mean and where do they come from? While we can't know with certainty the truth of our dreams, that doesn't make us any less curious about the mysteries they hold.
I would like to get your insight on something that has been a struggle for me all of my life. It is difficult to explain and I'm not sure if it is spiritual, magical, or if I have simply lost my mind. Ever since I was a child I have had reoccurring dreams that have I feel deeply connected to. In these dreams, the settings sometimes differ, but one thing is always the same. There is a girl who is waiting for me. The first dream is a field on a rolling hill with a house at the bottom of the hill, I have never been to the house because I always go to the edge of the field where it meets a wooded area. One time in this dream a girl came out of the woods. Ever since that time I have returned to this dream to meet the girl and we would talk and play together, I've had this dream since I was about 4. Another dream is at a large walkway leading up to a massive house; however, I never go there. Before the walkway enters the gate there is a bench on the side where I will sit and the same girl would meet me. The girl is always my age - at this time I was about 16 - and once when I had this dream the girl descended from the sky as a ghostly figure. After that dream it was years before I met her again. These dreams would happen sporadically throughout my life, sometimes days apart and other times years. Every time I meet her it is as if no time has passed, we talk and laugh as if we have always been together. I have told myself it's just a dream and but I feel so connected to this person that when I wake up she is all I think about. Last night I had met her again and I cannot handle it. She is always strong and never shows any signs of weakness but as I felt myself drifting from the dream and waking up her demeanor changed, she became vulnerable and had a look of such sadness as she softly told me "I love you" and I couldn't respond before I awoke. I do not know if I should be emotionally attached to something that may not be real, but every time I close my eyes I hope to see her. I don't know who or even what she is. Could this be a spirit? Could I just be going crazy? Is this something I should just let go of and forget about? I am at a loss but it is affecting me emotionally and mentally. Any advice or wisdom would be greatly appreciated.
Aren’t dreams fascinatingand mysterious things? While I will confess I am not an expert on dreaming, it is something I study and practice and since you asked for my insight, I’m happy to try to help. Because I am a witch and not a psychologist, I will treat this as a spiritual or magical event and not dare to diagnose you or your mental health (though, for the record, I don’t think that these dreams are a sign that you are losing your mind).
There are many cultures and individuals who believe that dreaming is a chance to explore other realms, planes of existence, and dimensions. I tend towards this category and, as an active dreamer myself, have had many dreams that felt real, prophetic, and unexplainable. I feel certain I have had visits from loved ones passed, traveled interdimentionally, and seen glimpses of the future and other lifetimes. I don’t know what purpose these serve, other than to offer us an alternate reality and perhaps advance our capacities of perception.
So, with that in mind, I think it is quite possible that this being you continue to encounter is a loved one from another lifetime who has found a way to communicate with you while you are on separate planes. Since time is relative, she may not realize how much time passes between meetings. She just misses you and when she thinks of it she drops in to visit. If this is the case, my guess is that she doesn’t exist in this reality, which brings its own set of complications. Mainly, though you long for her company, there is no way, in this current incarnation, that you can actually be with her in your waking life.
Another possibility is that you are having past life memories in your dreamtime, perhaps because there is something your unconscious would love for you to remember. In an attempt to get the message across it continues to send you these powerful dreams, and will continue to do so until you receive it. There could be incredible insight waiting for you, which would help explain the deep longing you feel upon waking.
A theory I’ve always loved is that we choose our lifetimes in order to learn certain lessons and grow certain qualities. In preparation for our reincarnation we view scenes of our life, important actions and relationships that we are meant to experience. That is where the feeling of deja vu comes from. If this has any truth to it, it could be that you are supposed to encounter this person and will continue to receive these dreams until you do.
The problem with this last idea is that it encourages you to search for someone who may not exist (here and now) and could distract you from living your life fully. Whether or not there is any truth to any of the above insights, it is true that you are alive now, in this body in this time, and life is meant to be lived. I encourage you to continue to be curious about your dream life, but not at the cost of enjoying your waking hours. If this dream woman is truly a friend to you, she would want you to be happy, not to spend your life lost in reverie. That said, it wouldn’t hurt to look into the practice of lucid dreaming, to see if you can get more control in your dreams and get more answers when you encounter her. Start by keeping a dream journal and write in it when you wake up and right before you go to bed. Set intentions to meet and talk with her, and when you wake write down whatever turns up, mundane or magical. And, in the meantime, continue to live your life and explore relationships with flesh and blood folks. Good luck.